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Whether you’re just starting out, or have been together thirty years! These ten hot tips have been shown in the research to improve intimacy and happiness in relationships and families.
Assumptions like this can breed resentment and disappointment when it turns out your partner isn’t aware of a particular need.
It’s not uncommon to have thoughts like, If she really cared she would just know to do X. The problem with this is that we all have different expectations of each other. We often learn these expectations implicitly – from observing our parents, or from movies, or from friend’s relationships. We’ve all learnt different strategies for different situations, so our assumptions of what is appropriate are likely to differ.
Talk with each other about what you need and what you prefer. For example, When I storm out of an argument in tears, it makes me feel cared for if you follow me to comfort me, or When I storm out of an argument in tears, I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave me alone to clear my head, so I can come back and discuss it when I’m calm.
Certain relationship problems can seem unsolvable or perpetual. However, problems are often the result of conversations we fail to have.
The best way to deal with them is to find a way to talk about them, calmly, clearly and openly, and to develop the skill to recover from their effects. The chance to express feelings and make complaints can have a powerful pull to closeness.
Starting a conversation with the ways that you agree on things helps to soften the start up. This means that when you raise your specific complaint, it won’t come across as overwhelming criticism.
Follow it up with another positive reflection, so that you end on a high note. It flows naturally if you make it about something specific that went well during the conversation itself. Read more
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Sono una psicologa che opera nella provincia di Milano e Varese, presso diverse strutture pubbliche e private. Mi sono laureata all’Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore di Milano, in Psicologia dello Sviluppo e della Comunicazione, e ho frequentato diversi corsi di specializzazione relativi alla clinica della fascia evolutiva ed adulta.
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